In Grief
by im-a-knockout
Summary: A Transformers Armada story. This story takes place after "In Sickness" where Starscream finds himself dealing with the death of a friend and struggling to live within the Autobot fold. Warnings: character death, slight gore and Cybertronian language
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Starscream certainly did not take the news of his abandonment well. Optimus Prime could only stand with his back to the medical bay doors as he watched on powerless to the situation in front of him. The young, red and white Seeker stood in a far corner, shouting his frustrations as the Autobot medic tried to diffuse the situation. His minicon partner, Swindle, sat on the edge of a medical berth almost smugly, he knew this wasn't going to go well.

"I am going back!"

"Starscream, be reasonable. It only spells death for you going back there! You heard Demolishers' warning from Swindle!" Red Alert sighed to calm himself before continuing, "please. Come out of the corner. Why don't you sit on the berth?" He pleaded, pointing towards a berth.

The Seekerling shook his helm vigorously, planting himself further in the corner, trying his best to stay as far away from the two mechs as possible. Red Alert looked to his leader clearly out of ideas on what to do now. Optimus suppressed a sigh as he listened to the growing conversation in the hall outside. The negotiations with Starscream had gone on far longer, and far louder, than they had anticipated. Hearing a knock and a voice from the other side of the door, the Prime moved out of the way as an older mech joined them in the medbay, sliding the door shut quickly to stop prying optics from peering in.

Scavenger merely observed the scene for a moment before turning his full attention to his commander.

"I see he isn't taking it well then" he turned to look at the Seeker who glared back at him, "you have certainly attracted some attention, Starscream."

"Frag off"

"Now, now, don't take it out on me, Seeker."

"Then let me go back! I just want to go-"

"Where, Starscream! Go where?! This tantrum has gone on long enough"

Red Alert stepped out of the way as Scavenger approached the seething Seeker,

"Calm down. Everything has been explained to you so you are just going to have to accept what is happening."

"B-but I-"

The old mech knelt down in front of the once Decepticon,

"I know you want to go back, back to what you know, but we don't want to see you hurt." When Starscream simply turned his helm away, Scavenger continued, "I mean, what would Demolisher and Cyclonus think?" Now that caught his attention, "They do not want to hurt you, Starscream. You don't want to force them to follow their orders, do you?"

Optimus and Red Alert watched as Scavenger finally got the Seeker to listen and bring him out of his frenzy. Although Starscream had stopped yelling, his intakes were still ragged and rapid, hitching every so often as he came to terms with the circumstances he now found himself in. His frame shivered and he suddenly found himself kneeling on the floor with Scavenger, his voice strained.

"N- no-"

The older mech really didn't expect an answer but continued on, "I know this is going to be hard for you, we all do, but we are going to help. You'll be alright."

This seemed to open the flood gates as Starscream lowered his helm, hiding his faceplates from view. His intakes hitched sharply and Scavenger couldn't help but sigh sadly as optic fluid dripped onto the floor between them.

"Awe, Starscream" Scavenger gently pulled the Seekerling into a hug, suprised to find that he didn't pull away. "C'mere. It's gonna be alright, you'll see."

The Autobot commander and medic could only look on as the old mech comforted the young mech. Optimus was sure he could feel his spark breaking slowly with every soft sob that emitted from Starscream. Placing a hand on his medics' shoulder, he spoke in a hushed whisper,

"Let Scavenger stay with him. I think he has this under control besides, it's getting late. I need to update the troops before heading to my berth. I advise you do the same."

Red Alert glanced back at the two mechs before following his leader out of the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Scavenger onlined to the pinging of his communication link. Sparing a glance at the recharging Seeker and Minicon, he lazily answered the comm link however he was suddenly awake, suddenly aware of the base being eerily quiet, as Red Alert demanded his full attention quickly.

"What is going on, Red?"

_"Quiet, Scavenger. Decepticons have invaded the base"_

"What? How?!" He looked to Starscream as he shifted in recharge.

_"We are not sure. Everyone has been alerted and are currently hiding. The base defences have been activated. Quickly, take Starscream and Swindle into the back room of the medbay. The switch is under the desk."_

"Stay safe, Red."

Hurrying towards the desk, he hastily found the switch before waking Starscream slightly before picking him up, motioning to Swindle to follow him. Placing the now awake Seeker on the berth, he rushed to secure the door, hiding the room from view.

"Why are we in here?" Starscream whispered, "Scavenger?"

"I am not sure, the base is under attack." He answered without taking his optics off the door.

"What?! We need to do something!"

"No. The base is equipped with defences to deal with this type of attack. We are to stay hidden unless ordered otherwise."

"But-"

"Hush!" Scavenger quickly silenced the young mech, his frame tensing as he heard the medbay door open. Turning to face Swindle and Starscream, he placed a digit to his mouth to keep them quiet. The three mechs froze as a muffled, yet deadly familiar voice filtered through the door,

"I thought you said he was here!" A voice snarled lowly, a meeker voice answering, "that is what I was told, sir. Sir, please, let's return to base. He isnt-"

A shot rang out, making the three bots jump. Thankfully, they stayed undetected, not daring to move even when a set of pedesteps were heard leaving the room, the door sliding open and shut. For a moment that seemed like a life time, they stared at the door until Scavengers' comm link pinged, he answered it immediately.

"We are all fine, sir. Myself, Starscream and Swindle."

_"Thank Primus. Everyone is fine. The Decepticons have called for a retreat."_

"Sir, don't come into the medbay! I think one was left behind. I am going to investigate, I will call as soon as I find out what has happened."

_"Tread cautiously"_

"I will, sir" He turned to Starscream and Swindle, "Stay here and don't make a sound until I call for you, understand?"

As both mechs nodded, the older mech manually slid the door open and closed it quickly behind him to hide the scene from the other two. Scavenger watched in horror and sympathy as Demolisher lay on the floor of the medical bay, energon spilling from a significant wound near his neck. The injured Decepticon managed to turn his helm to look at Scavenger, wheezing, energon gurgling in his throat before he managed to form a few words,

"I-Is he s-safe?"

"Starscream? Yes"

"O-oh good"

"Demolisher, hold on. I'll call for medical aid-"

"Don't, there's n-no point"

"You don't know that." He reached up to activate his comm link, "Red Alert will be able to patch you up."

A long pause from the Decepticon caught his attention, "What-?"

"Starscream. T-take him away from here"

"Huh? He is-" He looked up to find the Seeker looking on in horror, "Starscream! I told you-!"

"D-demolisher! What happened? How?"

"I-it's okay, It's al-alright"

"No, no it isn't! Everyone keeps saying that but it isn't- you aren't alright!"

The Seeker fell to his knees, not caring as he knelt in the spilt energon oozing from his once teammate. Demolisher coughed, bringing up the energon in his throat before he spoke again, his voice weaker than before,

"Y-you are right, Starscream. I'm n-not alright but you will be. You'll b- be okay" The Decepticon did not react as two Autobots burst into the room. He looked into the watery, orange optics of the young seeker and feebly raised an energon soaked servo to wipe a stray tear away. "Be good"

"N- no! D-demolisher, no! Y-you can't d-die!"

"Scavenger" Demolisher whispered, "take him ou-out of h-here. He doesn't n-need to s-s-see this"

"No! I want to stay with you! Scavenger! Let me go! Let go!"

The old mech struggled to keep a firm hold of the now bawling Seekerling. With one final effort, he heaved the energon covered flier into his arms and hurried out of the room, not looking back to see Red Alerts' desperate attempts to save the Decepticon or see the sorrow in the Primes' optics.

* * *

Darting into his own berthroom, he immediately made for the wash racks, turning the water on and stepping into the warm and welcoming spray. Placing Starscream on his pedes, he steadied the shocked Seekerling with one servo while helping to wash away the energon with the other. The fact that the young mech was now so quiet unnerved the old mech more than he was willing to admit. Turning the water off, Scavenger hastily dried himself before turning his attention Starscream. Drying him as quickly as he could, he then lead him out of the wash racks and grabbed a thermal blanket from his berth, wrapping it around the Seeker. Kneeling down on one knee, he forced him to look at him,

"Starscream?" He spoke softly yet kept his voice firm, "look at me"

He watched those dim, orange optics as they tried to focus on his faceplates before helping the unresponsive mech to sit on the berth. Before he could try and contact Red Alert for some advice, someone knocked on his berthroom door. Sliding the door open, he came face to face with the medic.

"Red. Did he-?"

Red Alert shook his helm, "no. The wound was too severe, he bled out before I could do anything. How is Starscream?"

"I was just about to call you. I'm not sure, he suddenly went quiet. I've washed off the energon and, well, come in and see."

Red Alert promptly moved towards the Seeker who was staring blankly ahead,

"hey, Starscream." He called to him softy before sitting on the berth next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. When he didn't respond, the medic moved to pull the Seekerling closer to him, almost cradling him. It took a few tense moments but Starscream finally shifted slightly to press his helm into the medics shoulder, listening to the soothing sound of the pulsing spark. Red Alert shushed him gently as he heard a whimper before looking at Scavenger,

"It's just the shock. Once he has calmed a little more, I'll get us some energon. Just, stay with him Scavenger."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

"Come on, Starscream. You need to try and take some Energon"

The large shuttle transformer sighed as the grieving Seeker simply turned his helm away with a growl. His minicon partner beeping his annoyance at the determed second in command.

_"Wasn't it obvious he wanted to be left alone"_ Swindle thought.

Jetfire finally gave up, placing the cube down on a table near to where they sat in the rec. room,

"fine. But you will need to take something soon or Red Alert will drag you back into the medbay."

Starscreams recently attached wings twitched in response, "I'm not hungry"

Jetfire could only nod. It had been nearly a week since the young Seeker was disowned and lost a mech who was obviously closer to him than anyone could have imagined. In that time, he became more unwilling to socialise with most of the bots and humans on the base, his patience running thinner. Red Alert has assured them that it was all part of the grieving process and that they would all have to be patient. The medic, with Optimus Primes' permission, had quickly reattached the once damaged wings, giving Starscream once less thing to worry about. The shuttle looked towards the door of the rec. room, noticing the younger fliers' wings twitch up in a friendly greeting as Scavenger entered. The once spy seemed to be the closest to the Seeker at the moment.

"Hey Jetfire, Starscream, how's things?"

"Fine" was the Seekerlings' clipped response. Jetfire shrugged, "Listen, I need to get going Scavenger. I'm due on monitor duty. I'll see you later, Starscream."

Scavenger waited for the second in command to leave before speaking,

"have you had any energon?"

The old mech casually picked up the cube as though examining it. Starscream simply shrugged, not caring if the Autobot saw the gesture or not. Scavenger sat on a chair opposite the Seeker.

"Well, here's the thing. You either drink or Red Alert will connect you up to an IV in the medbay. Your choice"

Starscream glared at the older mech, his wings rising in a threatening manner. Scavenger merely observed, unfazed. The Autobots were slowly getting used to reading Starscreams' mood through his wings. Jetfire had explaind that the use of communication through wing movements and positions was common in young fliers, especially Seekers. The kids had been fascinated to learn that the shuttle could wiggle his.

"Make a choice, Starscream."

As he went to argue, Scavenger stood up, "fine. You are going to the medbay then"

Starscreams wings suddenly fell, optics averted. Scavenger held the cube out towards him, "then drink"

He watched as the Seekerling took the cube in shaking servos, sipping it slowly. Once less than half the cube was drained, he stopped.

"Surely you can take more than that"

He shook his helm before whispering, "I have never been able to finish a full cube"

Scavenger cocked his head in confusion.

"Tanks are smaller" the red and white Seeker mumbled.

Scavenger nodded, understanding, "if that's the case, smaller rations more often will be arranged."

Starscreams' wings merely twitched,

"are you wanting to try and get some rest, Starscream? Hotshot and Sideswipe will be back with the kids soon."

As if on cue, the two mechs could hear the roars of engines and the kids excited voices. The young Seeker nodded and made a hasty exit to his berth room, Swindle following. Scavenger stood as Optimus Prime walked into the ,

"How are you, Scavenger?"

"I am fine, sir"

The Prime glanced at the half empty cube, the pale blue liquid glinting in the light, "Did you get Starscream to re-fuel?"

"He took a few mouthfuls but he said his tanks are smaller. I think smaller rations, more often will suit him better."

"Yes, Red Alert did mention he had noticed something like that on one of his scans. Changing his rations will not be an issue. Where is he now?"

"Berthroom" Scavenger muttered as Hotshot and Sideswipe came bouncing into the room, the human children in tow. Optimus nodded, now understanding why the Seekerling had made a hasty exit. He listened for a while as the kids talked excitedly about their school camping trip before quietly leaving, something told him to check up on their young Seeker.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Optimus Prime listened intently outside the berthroom door before knocking gently. He couldn't hear anything from the Seekerling but he could hear what sounded like distressed beeping from the Seeker's minicon partner. He knocked once more before overiding the doors locks. He entered quietly, ensuring the door closed behind him, activating the lights.

He could see Swindle standing at the bottom of the large berth, his faceplates portraying surprise and relief at seeing him. The Autobot commander sighed sadly as he watched the Seeker writhe on the berth, insulating tarp laying abandoned on the floor, obviously in the throws of another nightmare. It wasn't a secret that the young mech suffered from them.

Optimus crouched by the berth, careful not to wake the Seeker too quickly. He didn't need Starscream to be any more panicked than he already was. He made sure to speak softly,

"Hey Starscream, it's time to wake up."

He got another distressed whimper for his efforts, "shh, shh, I know. It's just a dream Starscream." He gently placed a servo on the young mechs' arm and with a loud gasp, Starscream awoke.

Starscream instinctively recoiled from the servo touching him, his wings and cannons moving to press tightly against his back as he brought his knees up to curl into himself. The images of Demolishers' death still flashing in front of him. He couldn't stop the high pitched distressed keen. He suddenly became aware of the larger mech at his berthside, his voice soft as he spoke,

"Easy Starscream, it's alright, you're alright."

Starscream bit back a sob as he turned to look at the Autobot leader crouched beside him. His wings twitched up slightly before falling downwards once again. Optimus' optics softened at the respectful greeting.

"Are you ok?"

The Seeker nodded, yet his wings trembled giving away the emotions running through him. Optimus could only sigh as the Seeker attempted to hide the truth. He certainly wasn't okay, he was far from it. The Prime moved slowly until he was sitting on the edge at the bottom of the berth, so he could face the youngling,

"You know, Starscream, it is perfectly alright to grieve."

The red and white mech simply stared at him before averting his optics, wings rigid. He obviously didn't want to and Optimus couldn't blame him. To grieve meant he would have to accept the fact that the only mech within the Decepticon fold who had shown him any care towards him was gone.

"I don't suppose you want to try and recharge, Starscream. Why don't you come and spend some time with the rest of the mechs?

Starscream stared at the far wall, unsure what to do. He didn't exactly feel up to socialising but at the same time, a part of him didn't want to be alone. He glanced at Swindle who beeped encouragingly at him. Without looking at the Prime, he responded, "ok" his voice croaker than usual.

* * *

The Prime must have pre-warned the Autobots of Starscream's arrival into the rec. room before the Seeker had even got to the door, not that Starscream was going to complain. Nobody questioned or paid much attention to him as he entered silently, finding a corner to sit in. He got a few quiet moments to himself to observe the Autobots relaxing. The mechs were either, reading, watching the monitor or playing some game with the human children. He quickly looked away as the female of the group looked to him and smiled softly. The Seeker jumped as a quiet voice spoke to him,

"How are you, Starscream?"

It was obvious he hadn't noticed the medic sit down beside him, "sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Red Alert, along with everyone else who had noticed the flier jump, watched his wings drop down slowly.

"I'm alright" he fidgeted nervously

The medic nodded, "good. Do you want to read or watch something on the monitor?"

Starscream just shook his helm, suddenly feeling rather awkward. He spotted Scavenger laughing with Jetfire and his spark lurched. For the first time, he realised just how much he missed Demolishers' company. The Decepticons' were never close with one another but at he could at least relax around the tank. Starscream got up to leave, ignoring the medic calling out to him.

Red Alert glanced at Scavenger, Optimus and Jetfire as the Seekerling left. He could hear Sideswipe asking about what was going on but he didn't bother answering, hearing Jetfire telling the rest to stay behind, Scavenger rushing ahead to find the Seeker.

* * *

It didn't take them long to catch up with Starscream who was already with Scavenger. The three mechs' sparks fell as they heard the almost silent sob. They couldn't see Starscreams' face as his back was turned to them but from the Scavengers' expression, the youngling wasn't doing well.

"Starscream, please, let us help. What's wrong?" The old spy spoke softly, keeping his voice low, placing comforting servos on the Seekerlings' shoulders. The comforting voice of the old mech seemed to be the breaking point as the Seeker started to tremble violently, wings drooping so low they nearly touched the floor, a harsh sob ripping its way out of the young mechs' vocaliser, echoing down the hall. As Scavenger gently shushed him, Starscream fell into a fit of crying, tears dripping in quick succession to the floor as he cried his spark out. Through his sobs, the distraught mech managed to stutter out three words that broke the sparks of anyone who heard,

_"I miss him"_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5  
**

"Oh, shh, Starscream, sshh" Scavenger mumbled softly, pulling the distraught mech into a hug, "I know, I know." The old mech watched his teammates as the youngling cried openly into his chest. He bit back a growl as the rest of the Autobots peered from around the corner, the humans at their pedes. He could hear them asking questions, trying to find out what was going on. Jetfire turned to address them, speaking in a near whisper,

"You have all been told the circumstances around Starscream joining us but while you were away, kids, he lost someone very close to him. Now, if you don't mind, would you all please go back to the ."

Scavenger smiled gratefully, Starscream certainly didn't need an audience. Optimus approached quietly, placing a servo on the Seekers' shaking shoulders,

"come on, let's go to the medbay. You'll get peace there." Feeling the Seeker tense and nearly cling to Scavenger, he added, "don't worry, Scavenger is coming too."

* * *

Red Alert was relieved when Starscream was sitting on one of the medical berths, his cries finally quietening down to shallow sobs but the medic was still worried. The young mech seemed to be having trouble controlling his intakes. He didn't expect him to be calm, far from it, but he was sure the Seeker would have been able to calm the trembling and shallow intakes. He handed him a warm cube of energon before sitting on a berth opposite him, Scavenger standing close by.

"Starscream?"

The Seekerling looked up at the medic, "I need you to take deep intakes for me, okay?"

Red Alert was pleased to find the youngling co-operating so easily, Scavenger keeping a comforting servo on his shoulder the entire time. He glanced to the door as Optimus entered, carrying Starscreams' tarp.

Starscream simply ignored the other mechs in the room, struggling to carry out the medics' instructions. He barely flinched as a damp, cool cloth wiped away the tear stains from his faceplates. He looked up when he heard his name being called once again.

"Listen to me, Starscream." Scavenger said, demanding his attention, "I want you to list some things for me, okay?"

The Seekerling nodded, taking a small sip of the warmed cube, not caring what the purpose of the exercise was, "What are five things that you can see?"

Starscream cocked his helm in confusion before glancing around the room. He spoke quietly, his voice sounding so young even to his audials.

"Monitor, lights, berth, tarp, you."

"Good." Scavenger smiled encouragingly, "and four things you can touch?"

"Berth, tarp, servo, cube of energon"

"Uh huh, and three things you can hear?"

"Air circulation vents, computer, intakes."

"Two things you can smell?"

"Energon and disinfectant" his voice suddenly quieter.

"And finally, one thing you can taste?"

Starscream suddenly yawned, intakes slowing and deepening as he rubbed a fist against an optic, "energon", he mumbled.

Red Alert gave Scavenger an impressed nod, surprised how the old mech had managed to calm the youngling so quickly. As Starscream yawned again and the medic spoke up, "take another drink of that energon, Starscream, and then I think it would be best for you to go into recharge."

Optimus' optics softened at the exhausted Seekerling, wishing him a 'good night' before excusing himself out of the room. The young mech took another sip of the cube before handing it over to Red Alerts' awaiting servo. He was tired and allowed Scavenger to help him lie down on the berth before the older mech tucked the tarp around him, whispering, "get some rest, Star, I'll be right here."

Starscream mumbled a 'good night' before falling quickly into recharge, his intakes deepening.


End file.
